Despite keeping cheery appearances, things have been hard. Winter feels long. We have barely gone anywhere aside from the Upper East Side. It feels very fortunate and at the same time stifling. We barely leave our apartment aside from quick errands and daily walks around the neighborhood circling the same blocks. I'm incredibly grateful for all that we have but that doesn't stop things from feeling a bit stale.
Alex and I haven't had a night off from our sweet little baby since she was born. We were both getting a little bit weary, so we began designating Saturday night as date night at the start of the year. We order in and make an extra effort to plan out something fun - a movie, game night, special cocktail, etc. - all within the safety and comfort of our apartment after Claire goes to sleep. It's a fun thing to look forward to, especially on grey winter days.
My mom is almost done with her treatments. Her hair might be gone but her fight is still fully there. She's tired most of the time, nauseous and dizzy a lot of the time, in pain some of the time, and fighting cancer all of the time. I'm learning so much about all of the side effects of cancer and chemo that I had no idea about like the mouth sores and the itchy skin. There are so many tests, tons of blood work, appointments with a plethora of doctors. It's overwhelming and emotionally draining to even think about. We're keeping a positive attitude and hoping that this first round of treatment is also her last!
Claire is growing and learning. I take solace in the fact that she has no other reality than the one she was born into - with face masks and no family other than my mom on a screen. We've had a few tough weeks here and there - Claire getting an ear infection, one of her teachers testing positive for COVID causing her daycare room to close. But overall, Claire is a happy, silly, eager-to-please little bundle of energy. I love her more than I can convey.
With the weather finally warming, the snow finally melting. It feels like we're reentering the world with new, more appreciative eyes. Rates of the virus are going down. Vaccinations should be more readily available soon. Things are looking brighter ahead.
