Doctor Doctor

After speed-dating last winter, I met one really really good-looking med student. He's an artist and paints in his spare time. He lives in mid-town Manhattan and has really admirable career aspirations.

We went out for 3 months. We talked often and went on many great dates. But I started to notice something about Dr. Wonderful - he always had a drink in his hand. And his drink of choice was not beer or wine or some kind of cocktail. It was vodka on the rocks or sometimes vodka straight up. I think this means that my doctor might also have been an alcoholic but I was hesitant to jump to conclusions. Once, I brought up his frequent vodka drinks and he became fairly defensive. He explained how busy and competitive his program was and told me to lighten up... so I dropped it. Did I mention that he is really really good-looking?

After smoothing things over, we arranged to get together for dinner. We hadn't seen each other for a week and I was looking forward to seeing Dr. Handsome. So what if he likes to start the day with a vodka tonic? Is it really that big of a deal? Med school is stressful, no?

The evening of our date came around and I hadn't heard from him so I sent him a text asking what the plan was. I didn't hear back until 20 minutes before we were supposed to meet. He suggested trying for another night. Did I miss something here? We texted back and forth throughout the evening. I was out on the town with my girlfriends who helped me cope with my alcoholic not-boyfriend by feeding me a large quantity of alcohol. (Fight fire with fire? - probably not the best idea). I let him know I wasn't happy about his last minute cancellation and put my phone away.

2 days later Dr. D-bag called me to tell me that he actually canceled because he just didn't feel like seeing me. No excuse, no effort to spare my feelings. I was incredulous, totally angry, completely dumbfounded - he JUST DIDN'T FEEL LIKE IT??! I wanted a legitimate answer. He could have been: tired, stressed out, sick, hungover. He could have had a: family emergency, funeral, hospital emergency, apartment crisis. Was he really so clueless? Did he really not know the proper protocol for a date cancellation?

He asked if we could be just friends. I declined his offer and hung up the line. I don't want to be friends this alcoholic, rude, jerk...even if he is really really cute.

A sour note

Until recently, I had been dating a music teacher who lives in Manhattan. He's smart, cute, funny, and artsy - a great match for me!

Our first date was absolutely perfect. Probably one of the best first dates I've ever been on. We met at the fountain at Lincoln Center, grabbed a quick drink in Avery Fisher Hall and chatted for a bit before taking our seats. He took me to see Company performed by the New York Philharmonic with a handful of celebrities in the cast. The performance was great. Then we went out for drinks and spent 4 hours talking and drinking wine. He kissed me goodnight (a few times) and we ended the date by saying how much we were both looking forward to seeing each other again. I left for my apartment in a cab with that "I'm-so-excited-I-think-I-just-met-someone-great" feeling.

After a month of dating, things were going really well. We were getting to know each other, going out on fabulous dates, and were equally invested in whatever it was that we were starting...or so I thought.

Fast forward - We've been dating for 2 months and I begin to realize that he pays very little attention to me. He never calls. (We have only ever had 1 phone conversation). He texts me once or twice a week to check in. Usually his texts wish me a good start to the week. Then I don't hear from him for 4 or 5 days. I'm old-fashioned - I believe a girl should be pursued by a guy and not the other way around. We haven't talked about any serious topics. When we see each other things are fun but he's definitely not making an effort to build a meaningful relationship.

During our last date, I expressed my feelings to him and he agreed that we hadn't been in close contact. I felt satisfied with this acknowledgment and I left feeling hopeful. But I haven't heard from him and it's been 4 days. Not even a standard "Happy Graduation" text. I'm not waiting around for him to get his act together. Maybe he's met someone else. Maybe he's decided he's not interested. Maybe he's dating a bunch of girls and is a total player. Maybe he's really busy. Maybe he's just immature. Whatever the case, I deserve better than this.

In a world where there are 10 gillion ways to contact a person, it is inexcusable to ignore someone you've been dating for two months. It takes 10 seconds to send a text. It couldn't be easier to make a phone call (sometimes I call people without even meaning to from inside of my purse). Not to mention the hundreds of other methods of contact out there - e-mail, gchat, facebook, aim, fax, postal mail (does anyone really ever send hand-written love letters anymore?)...

Steve the Square

Steve and I met on match.com. After a normal phone conversation on 4/24, Steve and I texted back and forth letting each other know that we'd enjoyed our conversation.

Then this happened:

Steve: How are you (4/27)

I didn't much feel like responding to this. Could he be any more generic? Was that really all he could think of texting me?? Yawn.


On April 28th we had the following conversation:

Steve: Hello
Me: Hi
Steve: How r u
Me: Good. u?
Steve: I'm good
Steve: What are you up to now?
Me: In class. You?
Steve: Studying

We were both busy and this conversation was obviously going nowhere....

Steve: How r u? (4/29)
Steve: Hello how r u today? (5/2)

WHY WHY WHY was he still asking me "How are you?"... was that all he could think of? How NOT creative of him. How many people does he send this to? Is he so UN-innovative that he can't think of anything interesting to write via text... and if he can't think of anything interesting to write via text then why doesn't he just call?? I mean, he has to look back through his text conversations and realize that he's coming across as a bore.

Maybe if I hear from him again, I'll humor him...

May 4th rolls around and:

Steve: How r u?
Me: I'm doing fine. How are you?
Steve: I'm good

Alright. That's enough. I'm bored of this. This is not fun. This is not interesting.

Steve: How r u? (5/5)
Steve: Hello (5/7)

Then on May 8th I got curious. He has had a little time to think about what to say. If he looks at his conversations he can see that he is coming across as totally vanilla. No cool, interesting, fun girl would want to respond to this. Maybe next time he'll have improved. I decided that if he texted me again, then I would respond. Maybe he's worked up the nerve to FINALLY ask me out... One last chance...

Steve: How are you today?
Me: Hey I'm fine how are you?
Steve: I'm doing fine. How was your weekend?
Me: It was very nice.
Me: How was your weekend
Steve: Oh very nice.
Me: What are you up to?
Steve: Finishing up working
Me: Cool
Steve: What's new anything special?
Me: I turned in my thesis :) How about you?
Steve: Congrats almost there. I'm just working. that's all

That was a pretty definite end to our conversation so I decided that if Steve texts me ANYTHING other than "how are you?" then and ONLY then will I respond.

Steve: Good morning How are you? (5/11)
Steve: How r u doing? (5/12)
Steve: How r u (5/14)
Steve: How r u today (5/16)


Nope.

Graduate School Graduation!

This past weekend I graduated from my Master's program and it felt WONDERFUL!

Friday was the Divisional Graduation - everyone from my program had their name called, we walked across the stage, and received our "diploma" (our actual diplomas will be sent via postal mail by the end of the summer). Our ceremony was held at a beautiful church. It was intimate - only Milano The New School School for Management and Urban Policy students were present. About 70 students graduated with a Master of Science in Nonprofit Management.




Today was the Commencement and it felt great! I wore my cap and gown (complete with hood and awkward sleeves - who designed these awful robes?!). The graduation was great - captivating guest speakers, an interesting space, great music, and spending time with some of the great friends I made throughout my time in grad school. It was the perfect way to close this chapter of my life. My family was there to support and congratulate me.






I'm officially an alumna of The New School!!

Master of the Universe

I am officially finished with all of the hard work that I put in over the last 3 years towards my Master of Science in Nonprofit Management. It's been a juggling act with classes and school work and projects added to my already busy life. The time has flown by. I'm really happy with my experience in graduate school - I've gained so much knowledge and met so many wonderful people. I would highly recommend the program to anyone looking to enter into the nonprofit sector.

The end of school is bitter sweet. I love being a part of academia but after 3 very stressful years, I'm starting to get burnt out...I'm so excited to be graduating!

In a few short days I will be a Master!!!



Alright... it will probably look a little more like this...

Every rose has its thorn...

In 2009 after a break-up, I got back in the saddle and went out with a guy I met online. He was definitely interested in me - phone calls, e-mails, texts. Red flags of a stage 5 clinger? Yes. But I was too busy thinking about how to prepare myself to enter back into the dating world to see them.

On our first date, we went to dinner. He chose an extremely romantic restaurant. I was surprised by this - usually first dates where you don't know each other well are kept more casual so that if it goes horribly wrong, there's an easy exit strategy for both parties.

He showed up with a dozen red roses and I knew things were off to a bad start. Flowers on the first date?! He was coming on way too strong. We ate dinner and the conversation was flowing easily...Until he brought up introducing me to his family, what our children would look like, and how I would make a great mother. Aside from scaring the living daylights out of me, my interest in him went from an 8 out of 10 to a negative 50.

We parted ways and I thanked him for a lovely evening. The next day he called me and I let him know that he'd scared me away by being so forward. I assured him that I thought he was a great guy but that he might want to reconsider his approach. He pompously informed me that most girls appreciate this and dismissed me as immature.

According to Facebook, he's still single... 2 years later.

Don't sweat it

Last winter, I met a guy online who is a gentleman - nice, fun, took me out on really great dates, and normal. He has a great job and a great education. For once, I wasn't dating a crazy. It felt wonderful. We went out on our 5th date and he walked me to my door.

I invited him up for coffee (that's a big step - I never let dudes into my apartment). I put the coffee on and we sat on my futon and watched some TV. He leaned in for a kiss and that's when I saw it - a bead of sweat dripping from the side of his face. His neck was also all sweaty. The collar of his shirt had sweat stains on it too. Ew!

I tried to put it out of my mind. I thought to myself - he's a nice guy, suck it up and give him a chance. But I couldn't stop thinking about it...Did he not notice that he was sweating? Why was he not wiping his sweaty face? If he's nervous after 5 dates with me, maybe he has an anxiety problem and that causes profuse sweating in situations that trigger his nerves? Does he always sweat like this? How have I not noticed this before? It's definitely not hot in here so maybe he has a glandular problem? I wonder if any of his sweat droplets dripped onto me? How can I tactfully check for man-sweat splashes on this black sweater dress?

The mood was completely killed.

So I turned on Saturday Night Live and we drank our coffee and talked until we'd drained our cups. Then I announced that I was tired and he took the cue to leave.

He called days later to ask me out on a sixth date but I declined politely and told him I wasn't interested. He took it very poorly asking what went wrong...so made up an excuse about an old boyfriend that I still had feelings for and that satisfied him. I didn't have the heart to tell him that his perspiration killed my admiration.

Womentum

This past Saturday, I ran the EIF Revlon Run/Walk for Women's Cancer - my very first 5k!

Usually, I space out and run along the East River to clear my head. But this was totally different. There were celebrities there to kick us off - Jessica Alba, Jessica Biel, Nate Berkus, Dr. Oz, and Jimmy Fallon. Tons of confetti came raining down from the sky when the clock started. I was pumped.

In 28 minutes, I ran from Times Square to the middle of Central Park at 71st Street...Although I'm not sure that the run was for the full 3.1 miles since that was the best time I have ever achieved. I was the novice runner of the bunch so I finished last but I was just happy to have gotten through it in good time. I will admit that I did grab a cup of water from one of the water stations and that slowed me down for a minute or so. I never thought that I would like running, but I actually really enjoy it. It clears my head and it's a great work out.

After the run, we stopped at tents to pick up our swag which included snacks, a water bottle, and a lipstick. I walked home feeling great.



I ran in support of my aunt Iris, a cancer survivor, and raised $335 toward women's cancer research! Thanks to everyone who contributed!