Baby You Can Drive My Car

The second half of my maternity leave was far less challenging than the first. Claire began smiling socially (be still my heart!) and was more of an overall joy as she began waking up to the world. 

In an exciting lifestyle update, we bought a car. It's the first car I've owned in my life. The car I drove in high school and college was technically my dad's car. I'd saved up for a car working summer jobs and he ended up giving me his and upgrading to a new car. I loved that black 1995 Nissan Maxima with gray cloth interior and a v6 engine. I even upgraded the speaker system when I'd saved up enough my senior year of high school. Of course, after college when I left home and moved to NYC, I also left my beloved car behind. That was in 2008. 12 years ago! Our 2020 gray Subaru Forester with black leather interior feels like a real family car. We pay a ridiculous amount to park it in our building's garage, although, it's not nearly as ridiculous as the normal price to park it there given the exodus out of Manhattan during the coronavirus pandemic. It feels good to have some freedom! Our little lady sleeps in the car and loves to go on adventures with us. 

And speaking of sleep, Claire still sleeps in our room in a cute bassinet. She sleeps in 7-10 hour stretches at night and in 1-2 hour stretches during daytime naps. It's made for such an improved quality of life!

She has about 4 ounces of formula every 2-4 hours and doesn't spit up very much anymore. She also has become a pro at burping and holding her head up.

In a very surprising early discovery, she absolutely adores tummy time. She even cries for it. She can roll from her belly to her back on her left and right sides (she's been rolling over since 2 months but is much more self-assured at 3 months). She can hold herself up on her forearms and turn her head confidently.

The day Claire started daycare nearly broke my heart. But then I met her lead caregivers and felt worlds better. Claire has been thriving there - she smiles so big when she sees her caregivers. They are taking serious precautions around COVID-19 and their facility is cleaner than our house ever will be. A huge bonus of the exodus from NYC is that for the first 2 weeks of daycare, Claire was the only kid in her room with 3 caregivers watching over her. AND there are only 2 other kids signed up to be in her room when they start attending. AND both of those kids are over 6 months old so Claire will be kept separate with her own caregiver until she hits the 6 month mark (NYC daycare laws, who knew?). Overall, I felt like we were getting the benefits of a nanny in a decked out safe facility for the price of daycare, which in NYC, is pretty darn sweet!

Parenthood: A Crash Course

The positive side to taking home a baby during a pandemic is that we had zero FOMO. We had no celebrations or trips planned. We didn't have to organize any gatherings. We hadn't planned on going out to restaurants, seeing friends, or going to large get togethers. 

The negative side to taking home a baby during the pandemic is that we flew totally solo. We had zero help at all. Not one friend or family member came over to help, hang out, or spend time with the baby. It was isolating, scary, and a little bit lonely. 

The first month of Claire's life was a blur. It felt like one very long day. Since she was so tiny, we were instructed to feed her every other hour to fatten her up. If she didn't wake up for the feeding (which she rarely did), we were instructed to wake her up. We were totally exhausted after a couple of weeks of this feeding marathon. But by week 3 it went to 2.5 hours between feeds, then 3 hours, and then we just fed her on demand. Life started to feel a little more normal. Claire started sleeping in earnest in 2-3 hour stretches and it felt like paradise. We were and still are learning Claire's rhythms. 

Since none of the grandparents quarantined with us, we had to figure a lot of stuff out on our own. Like the fact that some babies initially hate bath time so maybe don't bathe them every day. Or not to freak out when she spits up a ton. Or the many different soothing strategies we now use to put her to bed when her eyelids are heavy and she's fighting sleep. Thank goodness for the internet!

It's hard to have a sense of community when everyone is socially distant so I worked hard to make my own. I asked friends to connect me to new moms they knew - and some of them became good friends of mine! I joined a new parents group that met weekly online. I take a baby-and-me yoga class once a week. I reached out to a lot of the moms in my network with questions and to ask for advice. Even though I've seen barely any of these people in person, I feel very connected.

All things considered, Claire is a pretty wonderful baby. She isn't colicky. She eats and doesn't spit up a ton. She's not that fussy and only has one evening witching hour each day when she's insatiable and wants to eat the whole house (I can relate to that!). She's super strong and can already roll from her tummy to her back. Under normal circumstances, this would be great but right now, it's truly a dream. We are so thankful for our little angel newborn. 

At her 2 month appointment, she weighed in just under 10 pounds and measured in at 19.5 inches. A huge difference from her first days of life. 

Now that she's over 2 months and isn't considered a newborn anymore, I'm a little bit sad. I miss our tiny baby and can't believe she's growing so fast. She finally grew out of her newborn diapers at week 7 and she stopped fitting into her newborn clothes at week 10. 

I have no idea how I will be able to drop her off at daycare without a ton of tears, on my part of course. I still have a bit more maternity leave and I'm cherishing every single second of it.

The Miracle of Life

And just like that, I'm a mother!

This pregnancy was not an easy one. Coming straight off a miscarriage, dealing with some medical complications and a pandemic, moving to a new place in my third trimester...it has been a lot. But in the end, it was all worth it because we finally got to meet our lovely little girl!

My Birth Story:

Two days before my induction, I headed to a lab and was tested for COVID-19. My brother was my ride to and from the lab. A quick nose swab and a blood test confirmed that I did not have the coronavirus. What a relief! 

Two days later, it was showtime.

On a cloudy Monday morning, my brother drove Alex and I to the hospital for my induction at 9AM. We were clad in masks and I was anxious but ready.

As soon as Alex and I entered the hospital, our temperatures were taken at the front desk and we were directed to the maternity unit. On the sixth floor of Lenox Hill Hospital, we checked in again and our temperatures were taken for a second time. Then we were sent to a waiting room as they prepared for my admittance. 20 minutes later, I was escorted to triage while Alex was left behind with all of our things.

Alone in triage, I filled out a ton of paperwork, requested a private recovery room, and changed into my hospital gown and socks. I was assigned Labor and Delivery Room 3 and was taken there to meet my wonderful nurse. She evaluated me, asked me a long list of questions, set up a hep lock, took some blood, and settled me in as we awaited my doctor to start the process. At that point, Alex was finally brought to the room and I was feeling super anxious.

At 11AM, my doctor had a PA evaluate my cervix (ouch!) which was not dilated at all. After 2 attempts by hand, the PA successfully used a speculum to insert a Foley balloon. This was an extremely painful procedure and I wasn't offered any meds for it. So I had to be brave. Luckily, once the balloon was inserted, it was just uncomfortable, kind of like a big tampon. I was hooked up to an IV and given Pitocin and fluids. Labor began straight away, about 10 minutes after the IV was set up. After 6 hours of active early labor (3 minute apart contractions that came on stronger and stronger), I was finally dilated to about 3 centimeters and my doctor removed the Foley balloon - this was the most pain I've ever felt in my entire life. 

An hour more of active labor with no pain meds and I was given an epidural. The epidural itself was super painful - something I hadn't anticipated. I was given an injection of something that numbed my back so that the placement of the catheter wouldn't be as painful. I'm not sure if there was a mishap or not, but the first time the epidural was tested out, a sharp pain shot through my right leg as if it were on fire. After a few adjustments, I felt coldness in my back and my legs got super heavy. It was finally working and I was in a lot less discomfort.

By 7PM,  I was in not much pain thanks to the epidural. I rested until around 11PM. Then the contractions were becoming more pronounced and I could feel a ton of pressure as they got more intense. I didn't like the feeling of the epidural. Instead of getting surges of pain meds every 20 minutes, I waited every hour or so to push the magic button connected to my epidural catheter. The anesthesiologist came back in and topped off my epidural which helped for about an hour but then things started to get even more intense. 

At midnight, I left the magic button alone choosing to forego the epidural meds for the rest of my labor. I was in a ton of pain and muscled through the contractions. I felt a lot more sensations and pain than I thought I would with an epidural (even without pressing the magic button every hour). A doctor dropped by at 1AM to check on my cervix at my insistence - I had a gut feeling that the end of labor was near. As it turned out, my instincts were right and I was 9 centimeters dilated. At 2AM, I screamed for a nurse who arrived with a peanut ball and instructed me to lay on my side. My labor was getting super intense. My epidural was wearing off and I was hyper-aware of everything going on with my body.

At 2:15AM, I screamed for the nurse again letting her know it was almost time to push. I was left alone to breath through the contractions for what felt like forever.

At 2:45AM my doctor showed up with an intern and the nurse. I was instructed to bear down and push. Most women take between 30 minutes and 2 hours to push out the baby and I was ready to get this little one out into the world knowing this would likely be the toughest part of the experience. Unbeknownst to us me, the baby had somehow become "sunny side up" -  facing my belly button instead of my spine. I later found out that only about 30% of women with babies in this position are able to give birth vaginally (doctors typically allow a mother if a sunny side up baby 2 hours of pushing before being whisked away for a C-section). I was strong, I muscled through the bearing down. Right before the grand finale, the doctor asked if I wanted to feel the baby's head and I surprised myself by enthusiastically saying YES! It was incredible motivation to push her into the world. Miraculously, thanks to a yoga technique I'd learned in my many prenatal yoga classes, I pushed out the baby in 15 minutes! 

And this was all with a mask on.

At exactly 3:08 on the morning of May 19, 2020, I became a mom.

My baby was put on my chest as the doctors helped "massage" (they should really reconsider calling what they did a massage) out my placenta, stitched up my second degree tears, and examined my uterus.

Claire Sarah Levi measured in at 18 inches at 5 pounds 8.5 ounces. Claire needed to be put under a heat lamp to get warmed up following my bonding time and she needed to be fed formula immediately since her blood sugar was measuring dangerously low.

My epidural catheter was removed and I was wheeled to a recovery room on the fancy floor of the hospital - the one where Beyonce had Blue Ivy. It was beautiful with chandeliers, room service, brand new facilities, nurses, consultants, and liaisons at your every beck and call.

Alex and I spent only a day in the recovery room before I was discharged. It was a hectic stay with constant interruptions, my blood pressure cuff going off every 15 minutes, doctors and specialists and nurses coming in and out of the room, and my bed on an automatic sequence of movements to aid in the return of feeling to my left leg which was numb for over 24 hours after the epidural was removed.

I felt pretty horrible for the first week at home. My pelvis felt unstable and I was having trouble walking. My arm was all yellow where my hep lock had been. My abs were bruised and sore. I was still experiencing contractions here and there. My lady bits felt torn to bits. My breasts were heavy and my nipples were chapped and sore from my first attempts at breastfeeding. My legs were nearly double in size from all the fluid and my ankles were incredibly swollen. Surprisingly, the area on my spine where I received the epidural hurt most.

My blood pressure started spiking in the days after childbirth and I was given a higher dose of blood pressure medication. I monitored my blood pressure and at times it was frightening. 

My 2 week postpartum OBGYN appointment went surprisingly well! My doctor confirmed that all my parts were healing correctly and that my blood pressure readings were moving in the right direction. I had a full blood panel workup and all came back normal. 

My blood pressure levels finally returned to normal about a month after I had Claire. Each week leading up to my follow up appointment showed progress and healing on all fronts. At my 6 week postpartum OBGYN appointment, I was taken off all my meds and was told to come back in 3 months for a check-up.

And with that, my postpartum care was complete and with it, my pregnancy journey. Bringing a new life into the world is a miracle and I have never felt luckier to have a new, cute, very demanding roommate who is also my new favorite person. I'm so in love.