You Make Me Feel Like A Natural Woman

MY MINDFUL YEAR - JUNE



Continuing on the theme of trying to be more mindful of the stuff that enters my body, I decided to switch to an all-natural deodorant.

There's a lot of crap in drugstore mass-produced deodorants. Parabens are linked to breast cancer - bad. Aluminum is linked to Alzheimer's Disease - bad. Triclosen, Seareths, TEA and DEA contain carcinogens - bad, bad, and bad. I've been putting these things into my body multiple times a day every single day for years.

It was time for a change.

But this change was...sweat inducing! I've always been a sweaty lady. I don't end a run with a dainty glow. I finish with a red sweaty face and a body to match. When I'm nervous, I sweat. A lot. My favorite season is winter in large part due to the sweaty grossness of summer in NYC. And my sweat does not smell sweet. It smells like sweat.

My old routine looked like this: Each morning I applied deodorant with antiperspirant. Before bed time, I applied clinical strength antiperspirant. My underarms were basically wearing sweat-proof armor.

The cold turkey approach was a little too ambitious for me. So when my clinical strength stick ran out, I just stopped my nightly application of the stuff. Surprisingly, I noticed no difference whatsoever. This was very encouraging!

When it came time to swap out my tried-and-true Donna Karan Cashmere to a natural brand, it took some trial-and-error. And it turned out to be a treacherous journey.

• The Honest Company's lavender spray deodorant smelled like a spa but was 100% ineffective. (And I really did try, one day with 10 applications of the stuff!) 
• Lavanila original stick was not super effective and caused a chemical burn (OUCH!). 
• Native's sensitive skin formula in cotton lily smelled fantastic and worked wonderfully at preventing odor but left me with a gnarly red, bumpy rash (EEK!). 
• Schmidt's for sensitive skin worked and I didn't have any reaction at all. BUT the scent options were less than desirable. I tried 5 in total:
• 1: virgin pina colada (no)
• 2: the scent of the carpeting in a Bikram Yoga class (no, gross)
• 3: that indistinguishable smell of the inside of an old woman's purse (oh hell no)
• 4: lots and lots and lots of lavender (maybe too much lavender for me)
• 5: tea (it actually smells pretty nice with my body chemistry)

My new routine looks like this: Each morning I apply some natural deodorant after my shower. I carry around a travel size deodorant at all times and re-apply if I need it. Before bed time, I wash my underarms with a mild soap.

Now I wear natural deodorant every day and I smell like a fresh cup of jasmine tea. I do sweat but my clothes don't have any yellow pit stains anymore. Most importantly, I'm mindful about this habit. And it feels pretty great to be doing something good for my body.

UPDATE: I now use Schmidt's Rose & Vanilla as I quickly learned the lovely tea scent does not hold up to a sticky, sweaty, NYC subway.

You Are What You Eat

MY MINDFUL YEAR - MAY




After committing to a regular routine at the gym and getting mindful about my fitness, I decided to take a look at my eating habits.

I've always envied the people who can eat whatever they want and not suffer the consequences. Because if I ate whatever I wanted (mainly salty, fatty, and sugary foods), I would have awful skin, weigh a ton, and feel sluggish all the time. I also wouldn't be getting the proper nutrients for organ function, digestion, etc.

Over the course of my life, starting at the ripe young age of 5, I've had issues with food. I began to obsess about my body weight while I was learning how to color inside the lines. This was partly due to what was portrayed in the media, partly because of my involvement in dance and gymnastics, and partly thanks to the mean kids on the playground.

My mom very smartly took me to a nutritionist when I was in kindergarten. I went weekly for a few months and learned why humans must eat to stay alive and how food fuels the body. I firmly believe that this is the reason I didn't develop an eating disorder as a young child.

Starting then, I tried my best to fuel my body healthfully and make smart decisions while also accepting my body for the wonderful vessel it is.

And yet...

I still longed to be slim like a ballerina, tall like a supermodel, and have all the right curves like my favorite celebrities.

I've tried many many diets over the years: Weight Watchers, Jenny Craig, Slim Fast, Atkins, juicing, the cabbage soup diet, and so many others. But diets never really work for me -- I'm never able to totally keep off the weight I lose. The rules make me want to be a straight A student but there's no end goal to a diet. When I reach my goal weight I don't graduate but I do stop following the diet that got me there.

I also become obsessive while on a diet. Counting grapes. Brushing my teeth after eating a cracker. Trying to figure out the calories in 1/4 of a York Peppermint Patty. Feeling overwhelming shame for eating 3 Starburst candies. And, I'm not proud to say it, binge eating my angry/sad/guilty feelings when I "mess up" the diet. These are not healthy habits.

I knew that if I wanted to be mindful, I had to think about my mind. And diets are not good for my head. After all, weight is just a number on the scale and while it's a measure of health, it's just one of many.

So I sat down with a nutritionist. She gave me a few guidelines. No diet. No strictness. No calorie counting. No goal weight. The only goal was to make healthier choices.

My first visit included an overall health assessment and an assignment before my next visit: document everything I eat, and at what time I eat it. I was encouraged to eat fiber and protein at every meal, stay away from carb only snacks, and steer clear of too much sugar.

When I went back for my first follow up, I had lost a few pounds but more importantly, I realized that my skin was clearer, I felt less bloated, and I didn't crave tons of sugar. I also didn't feel a ton of pressure to reach my goal weight because there was no number to reach. My goal was already being attained by being more mindful of my food.

We added a few more guidelines like aim to fast for 10-12 hours each day overnight to give my digestive system a rest. And, in order to keep myself from derailing down a shame spiral of binge eating, to never "give up" for the day if I eat an unhealthy snack. Her words were: enjoy the hell out of that snack and move on.

The most helpful thing I learned from my nutritionist: food is just food. There's no good food or bad food. But the choices I make can be good or bad. For example are cookies bad? No. I can eat one or two and it's totally fine. But if I ate 20 in 1 sitting, that's not a good choice. But if I do happen to rip through a sleeve of thin mints, I'll enjoy the hell out of them and then eat mostly veggies the rest of the day.

I'm not perfect. But now I'm mindful of what I eat. After all...

Let's Get Physical

MY MINDFUL YEAR - APRIL

On April 1, Alex and I marched into the New York Sports Club on our block and joined. 

For years, I've gotten by with yoga and dance classes, free passes, workout DVDs, youtube fitness channels, and runs through Central Park. After going through physical therapy for my ankle sprain, I decided it was finally time to join a gym. And, lucky for me, Alex was excited to join with me.

Our new gym is nothing fancy but it's absolutely changed my morning workout habit. Knowing I have an appointment with the gym, makes me get out of bed quicker and motivates me to workout instead of watch television or lounge around aimlessly before breakfast. On the weekends, I take advantage of the classes offered and have become a spin convert. I also started lifting weights.

After a month of regular gym attendance, I've come to realize that on my own it was easy for me to slack off and not give 100% but with people around me, and Alex coming along for the ride, I push myself to workout harder.

We're on the road to a more fit and healthy lifestyle.

P.S. What IS this music video?!