Work Work Work Work Work

This fall has been full of work for me and Alex.

Going back to work after maternity leave was not as difficult as I thought it would be. The fact that I am working from home for the foreseeable future was extremely helpful in the transition. Before the pandemic swept the world, I had been gearing up for a nice promotion working on a capital campaign. With the economy up in the air and NYC in a tailspin, my future at the Museum will remain status quo until further notice. I'm still gunning for more responsibility but I'm uncertain about how I can continue to grow. Luckily, I still have my job, for which I am very grateful. I've got time on my side to think about my next steps and what the future holds.

During the pandemic, Alex was fortunate enough to have been promoted to counsel at his firm. His dreams of becoming partner are still alive. But for now, he's happy to have more responsibility, a nice new title, and a salary bump. His hours are long (as they always have been) but he's more senior than he was before and it shows in the way he's treated and the hours he keeps.

In addition to actual work, it's been work being landlords to our tenants living in our Upper West Side apartment. When the real estate market tanked in NYC, Alex pulled his apartment off the market and listed it as a rental. Lucky for us, we had some takers! Even luckier, their rent covers some of the principal of the mortgage. Although it's very fortunate to have renters when the state of rentals in this city is grim, it's also a lot of work making sure the apartment is in tip top shape.

During my maternity leave, I stepped up to the role of President of Spark Movement Collective. I had served as Vice President for a little over 2 years and it was now my time to take the reins. It's rewarding, exciting, and really fulfilling. It's also a lot of extra work on my plate. While I know my time as President is fleeting (I'll likely serve 2 or 3 one-year terms before I pass the baton), I'm thrilled to be entrusted with the responsibility.

Being a parent to an infant is also a ton of work! The life of an infant changes so quickly. Claire started babbling in her third month and trying desperately to talk. She sleeps through the night (11-12 hours!!) and the transition from her bassinet to her crib was completely uneventful (surprisingly!). Claire loves to roll over from her belly to her back and from her back to her belly. She's constantly smiling and puts everything in her mouth. It's awe inspiring to watch her grow and learn. 

Baby You Can Drive My Car

The second half of my maternity leave was far less challenging than the first. Claire began smiling socially (be still my heart!) and was more of an overall joy as she began waking up to the world. 

In an exciting lifestyle update, we bought a car. It's the first car I've owned in my life. The car I drove in high school and college was technically my dad's car. I'd saved up for a car working summer jobs and he ended up giving me his and upgrading to a new car. I loved that black 1995 Nissan Maxima with gray cloth interior and a v6 engine. I even upgraded the speaker system when I'd saved up enough my senior year of high school. Of course, after college when I left home and moved to NYC, I also left my beloved car behind. That was in 2008. 12 years ago! Our 2020 gray Subaru Forester with black leather interior feels like a real family car. We pay a ridiculous amount to park it in our building's garage, although, it's not nearly as ridiculous as the normal price to park it there given the exodus out of Manhattan during the coronavirus pandemic. It feels good to have some freedom! Our little lady sleeps in the car and loves to go on adventures with us. 

And speaking of sleep, Claire still sleeps in our room in a cute bassinet. She sleeps in 7-10 hour stretches at night and in 1-2 hour stretches during daytime naps. It's made for such an improved quality of life!

She has about 4 ounces of formula every 2-4 hours and doesn't spit up very much anymore. She also has become a pro at burping and holding her head up.

In a very surprising early discovery, she absolutely adores tummy time. She even cries for it. She can roll from her belly to her back on her left and right sides (she's been rolling over since 2 months but is much more self-assured at 3 months). She can hold herself up on her forearms and turn her head confidently.

The day Claire started daycare nearly broke my heart. But then I met her lead caregivers and felt worlds better. Claire has been thriving there - she smiles so big when she sees her caregivers. They are taking serious precautions around COVID-19 and their facility is cleaner than our house ever will be. A huge bonus of the exodus from NYC is that for the first 2 weeks of daycare, Claire was the only kid in her room with 3 caregivers watching over her. AND there are only 2 other kids signed up to be in her room when they start attending. AND both of those kids are over 6 months old so Claire will be kept separate with her own caregiver until she hits the 6 month mark (NYC daycare laws, who knew?). Overall, I felt like we were getting the benefits of a nanny in a decked out safe facility for the price of daycare, which in NYC, is pretty darn sweet!

Parenthood: A Crash Course

The positive side to taking home a baby during a pandemic is that we had zero FOMO. We had no celebrations or trips planned. We didn't have to organize any gatherings. We hadn't planned on going out to restaurants, seeing friends, or going to large get togethers. 

The negative side to taking home a baby during the pandemic is that we flew totally solo. We had zero help at all. Not one friend or family member came over to help, hang out, or spend time with the baby. It was isolating, scary, and a little bit lonely. 

The first month of Claire's life was a blur. It felt like one very long day. Since she was so tiny, we were instructed to feed her every other hour to fatten her up. If she didn't wake up for the feeding (which she rarely did), we were instructed to wake her up. We were totally exhausted after a couple of weeks of this feeding marathon. But by week 3 it went to 2.5 hours between feeds, then 3 hours, and then we just fed her on demand. Life started to feel a little more normal. Claire started sleeping in earnest in 2-3 hour stretches and it felt like paradise. We were and still are learning Claire's rhythms. 

Since none of the grandparents quarantined with us, we had to figure a lot of stuff out on our own. Like the fact that some babies initially hate bath time so maybe don't bathe them every day. Or not to freak out when she spits up a ton. Or the many different soothing strategies we now use to put her to bed when her eyelids are heavy and she's fighting sleep. Thank goodness for the internet!

It's hard to have a sense of community when everyone is socially distant so I worked hard to make my own. I asked friends to connect me to new moms they knew - and some of them became good friends of mine! I joined a new parents group that met weekly online. I take a baby-and-me yoga class once a week. I reached out to a lot of the moms in my network with questions and to ask for advice. Even though I've seen barely any of these people in person, I feel very connected.

All things considered, Claire is a pretty wonderful baby. She isn't colicky. She eats and doesn't spit up a ton. She's not that fussy and only has one evening witching hour each day when she's insatiable and wants to eat the whole house (I can relate to that!). She's super strong and can already roll from her tummy to her back. Under normal circumstances, this would be great but right now, it's truly a dream. We are so thankful for our little angel newborn. 

At her 2 month appointment, she weighed in just under 10 pounds and measured in at 19.5 inches. A huge difference from her first days of life. 

Now that she's over 2 months and isn't considered a newborn anymore, I'm a little bit sad. I miss our tiny baby and can't believe she's growing so fast. She finally grew out of her newborn diapers at week 7 and she stopped fitting into her newborn clothes at week 10. 

I have no idea how I will be able to drop her off at daycare without a ton of tears, on my part of course. I still have a bit more maternity leave and I'm cherishing every single second of it.