Risky Investment

We met at the MOMA for a performance of traditional Balinese music played on beautiful traditional Balinese instruments. Then we headed to a reception for a cocktail and took a walk exploring the exhibits at the museum. He was open and warm and attentive. After a night of great conversation, we headed to Shake Shack for a quick bite to eat.

He's cute, witty, and very athletic. The only problem with this guy is that he couldn't answer one very important question: "What do you do for a living?" His answer: "It's complicated..."

That's never a good sign.

Apparently, he's starting up a new Web site which sounds fairly lucrative but the more he talked about it the more holes I saw in his business and strategic plans. He is certainly nowhere near ready to launch. He has been unemployed for over a year now. While he did express his excitement about this new venture, he also let me know that he had seriously depleted his savings to fund this project.

It could be a huge success.

Or it could be a complete flop.

Although the prospect of dating a good-looking athlete seemed promising, I'll have to pass. I just can't invest more time on this risky investor. First, because he's 34 and he doesn't have his act together. Second, because I am looking for someone who is stable financially and well established career-wise. And third, because this tells me that we have very different styles about managing our money. I would rather save up for a sure thing than risk it all for a fortune.

It would never work out in the long run.

In the (edited) words of Kanye West - I ain't saying I'm a gold digger, but I ain't messing with a broke athletic equipment web site business owner.

Age Difference Makes a Difference

As I date online, I often find myself wondering what the appropriate age is for a potential long-term match for me. I usually like to date a guy who is a few years older for two main reasons - 1) older guys are more established career-wise and 2) most older guys have sewn their wild oats.

A year and a half ago, after a speed dating adventure, I had gone out with a potential match. He was very sweet and we shared a delicious meal at a Cuban restaurant with a fun band. The conversation was going great until we started talking about studying abroad. He mentioned that he had gotten extremely homesick during his trip to Spain. I asked if he had Skyped or e-mailed with his friends and family back in the States. He responded with a chuckle and informed me that those sorts of technology weren't so popular in 1992. 1992! In 1992, I was in the second grade learning basic division and thought boys had cooties.

While the date was fun and even though he was a super nice guy, I didn't hear form him again. It was clear that our age difference made a difference.

I don't like to have absolute opinions. (I absolutely won't date someone over [insert age here].) But I've got to draw the line somewhere. And it's got to be quite a few years before this guy:

Some people have it all figured out:

But I think I'll go by the "I know it when I see it" rule when it comes to the appropriate age for my potential long-term dude. Hey, it worked for the Supreme Court.

When the going gets tough...

It's been a while since I've been on a first date. Partly because it's summer and I've been busy having a good time with my friends. Partly because hunting for a job is like a second full time job. But mainly because I was seeing a guy who I thought had some potential.

We met through mutual friends and dated for 4 months. He is funny, smart, and maybe a little young for me. A few weeks ago I had to have surgery (I'm fully recovered and healing nicely). I didn't want to advertise this. But I did tell a handful of people. One of which was the dude I was dating. I told him about how scared I was to be knocked unconscious and that I didn't like the idea of strangers seeing my insides. I admit - I was a bit freaked out. He played it down and told me I was going to be great. While I was a bit disappointed about his reaction, I figured this is a lot to handle so maybe he's freaked out too. But, I expected for him to be there for me throughout this ordeal. I needed him.

The day of the surgery came and went with no word from my dude. I reached out to him and received a generic response. Had he actually forgotten what I had told him? The days were passing and I was starting to feel like there was no use waiting.

I didn't want to end up like this:

Eventually, I received a text that read "Hey, how you feeling?" But it was too late. If he can't be there for me when things are bad, he's not meant to be there for me when things are good. When the going got tough, he was nowhere to be found.

Since we are part of the same social circle, I decided to let this roll off my back. We will still be friendly if and when we do run into each other. But our summer romance is over. Perfect timing since summer is about to end as well.

I decided I'm ready to re-enter the dating scene. This neglectful pseudo-boyfriend isn't worth another moment of my time. With a positive outlook, I have put my profile up on a new internet dating site and am ready to get back out there.

So the moral of the story is:

When the going gets tough, the tough join Jdate... or something like that.