Prince Not-So-Charming

I met a guy from Iowa online. We chatted a bunch and he was fairly attentive. He's an architect with a nice smile and an interest in the arts. It seemed like we were off to a great start.

He asked me to dinner at a beautiful restaurant on the Upper West Side, Isabella's. I was impressed. We met there and things were going great. Actually, conversation was better than normal - we had a lot in common, he complimented my dress, and he remembered things we'd talked about on the phone. I thought to myself - FINALLY a normal guy....

Somehow we ended up on the topic of weddings (he is in a wedding party for an affair next week and was talking about his awesome tux). He asked if I wanted to have a religious ceremony and I told him that I wasn't a super religious Jew, and in fact considered myself more of a cultural Jew. He then told me that he tries not to use the word "Jew" because he thought it was derogatory. I told him it wasn't derogatory. He proceeded to tell me that he used to tease his dad growing up and called him "Jew-y" whenever he was being frugal aka cheap. I told him that was a derogatory use of the word Jew. He said that he thought that Jews were all kind of cheap. I told him that it was a stereotype. He then asked me if I considered myself white since I was Jewish. I said "of course I do! Judaism is a religion not a race." He seemed content with my answer. When the check came he told me not to worry about it because he has spent more on first dates in the past - what a charmer. I wasn't sure if that was in reference to the innate frugality that he assumed all Jews are born with or if he was trying to make me feel better about not paying. Either way, I felt insulted and was ready for the date to be over.

A lesson for the men out there - racism is not cute or funny. Especially when you are talking about the culture, race, or religion of your date. Although I'm happy I was able to give him a lesson on the Jewish culture/faith, I won't be going out with this corn-fed ignoramus again.


This girl probably learned her lesson with all the hate mail she's received....

But this guy certainly had a sense of humor about it.