Secret Life of the American 20-Something

We met at a bar that Mr. Not-Quite-Right had suggested. Upon walking in and realizing that there was a serious renovation in the works, we headed to a second venue - a very quaint wine bar across the street. There were no available seats. We headed to a third venue - another wine bar a few blocks away. It seemed like a rocky start but I had an open mind and he seemed so wonderful on paper so I had to give him a fair try. We grabbed a table and ordered a glass of wine each.

I nursed my glass for an hour before there was just no more pretending and I downed the last sip. A half hour after my glass was taken away, my very observant date realized that I was without drink. He told me he would be finished with his glass soon also and that he was wiped after a long day of work and needed to go to sleep. He still had a good half glass left and I knew the date wasn't going to be over for a while. The waiter took pity on me and brought us an appetizer on the house....while my date droned on about himself and his friends from high school and his trip to Israel and his fairly new job and lord knows what else. He couldn't remember anything we'd talked about previously (not where I was from, not where I worked, not anything). So he focused our date on himself. If he asked me a question and I chose to answer with an anecdote or story, he usually cut me off with an "even funnier" or "even better" story of his own. I started to check out of the conversation and resorted to polite nods, friendly smiles, and the occasional "wow! that's so interesting."

I kept staring at my watch wondering if I would be home in time to make the season premiere of "The Secret Life of the American Teen." But I was having a secret life in my head - thinking about almost anything but the date I was on. What was I going to order for dinner when I got home? I wonder what repertoire I'll be playing tomorrow night at rehearsal. How do those teens on that silly ABC family TV show always end up pregnant? Haven't they learned anything? Is something wrong with me that I'm worried about my problems when they pale in comparison to those of the silly teens on that silly show? Are other couples at this bar on first dates? I wonder what they're thinking about. I wonder if any of them are as miserable as I am. I wonder if anyone else in here would rather be watching "The Secret Life of the American Teen." Do teens these day really talk about sex with their parents so often? Why in the world is this show so addicting?