A few weeks ago I went on a date with a guy from match.com.
We had spoken on the phone and he seemed sweet. We met at Grand Central Station and he was 15 minutes late. He claimed he'd forgotten what time we decided on meeting and, although I felt a bit skeptical, I decided to give him a free pass. I was again disappointed when he informed me that we actually weren't going to a bar in Grand Central Station (which has some decent options) but rather to a different location. We walked 8 blocks to the new location which was very nice. A fresh start after a rocky beginning.
The bartender asked what I would like. I ordered a vodka soda. My date proceeded to make fun of my drink choice which was rude and uncalled for.... considering he ordered the EXACT SAME DRINK.
Once the conversation took off, I found him to be kind, interesting, and funny. We then went to a sushi restaurant for a bite to eat. Everything was going great. He asked if I would like to go back to his place to which I replied a firm "NO." He changed his tune and invited me to the rooftop of his apartment building to which I replied "alright." It was a beautiful night and the date had taken a turn for the better. I figured I'd stay for an hour and see how it goes.
We go up to the rooftop. The view is spectacular. The East River on one side, the Empire State Building right in front of your face and the Chrystler Building bright and magnificent. I mentioned to him how I thought would be the perfect spot to watch the Macy's Firework Show if it ever came back to the East Side. To which he replied "This would also be the perfect spot for a first kiss" and he leaned in and planted one on me. I was taken aback - he seemed like a nice guy but that was just so cheesy.
I suggested we sit on the Adirondack chairs and take in the view for a bit before I call it a night - and we did. The conversation was a scratch-the-surface exchange about family. Typical first date banter. But nothing too deep.
He walked me out of his building and we stopped at his apartment so that he could show me his awesome washer/dryer. I was more impressed with his apartment than I was with the date. I gave him a cool goodbye since I was not feeling it and did not want to lead him on.
He called 3 days later to ask me out again and I politely rejected his offer. He spent 30 minutes trying to convince me to go out with him again. It seemed desperate. He was cheesy and overly affectionate after a just okay first date.
We hung up and I felt like I had made the right decision. A few days later I received this series of texts:
"3 1/2 years ago my life changed. I realized how short life is and I promised myself I would live without regrets. I told you I take risks and go after what I want. I want to get to know you. In a short period of time, it's clear to me how special you are. I'm smart enough to know attractive girls are a dime a dozen but quality girls are rare. I felt a connection with you on the phone before meeting, talking about family on my roof, and holding hands on the couch. I don't think you'll ever regret giving a good guy a chance but I think you could regret it if you don't. I'm willing to open up to you and share with you what makes me who I am. There is a good brunch spot on 81st and 2nd. I will be there tomorrow at 11am. Hope you'll take a risk, come get to know me"
I was completely freaked out by this - Not only did this guy come on way too strong, but again there were hints of desperation and cheese. I was 100% turned off and sent him yet another nice rejection.
What I hope he's learned from this: Ladies don't go for cheesy guys. Desperation is just not sexy.
